GRIEVANCE

 I got no reason to complain, but God Bless America, we provide an institutionalized forum for just that. As everyone knows by now, I'm buying the old Glen Wild Synagogue. I will finally own the two remaining religious, as well as historical, buildings left in Glen Wild, NY. My master plan is coming together. I don't know who said  "Control religion and history and you really got something." Maybe it was me. But in any case the cost of this , although more than reasonable in purchase price, comes with a hefty tax bill. My 90 year old real estate agent Ruby, assures me that the town will be reasonable. So after a weekend of cows, turkeys and supermodels, I went to "grievance".
   After having dewy supermodels fawning over me, I now sat before 4 or five locals in power. This scares me way more than........almost anything. I don't know if you know this, but I have a tendency towards self-righteous indignation and despise of authority. Meeting with local government is not my strong point. Yet, when taxes are involved I can be as compliant as a church mouse. I laid out my case calmly. I needed the town's help in saving a historical building and felt if it was assessed at what I paid for it, i could achieve this. True enough. I also was not certain I was buying 1.6 acres or a building lot. The county man sat glumly in the audience. I'd met with him earlier in the month. This Socratic exchange took place:
"Sir, please don't argue with me."
 "I'M NOT ARGUING. I'M JUST TRYING TO MAKE MY POINT...."
  As I told the committee how I owned the church and now the synagogue, in order to......... I was cut off.
"......get into heaven" a woman chimed in with typical Borsht Belt timing. I played along.
"Dosen't hurt." I offered. I think they were on my side. But they could always turn rabid at any moment. They leafed through my paperwork and photos of the messy interior. When i told them I was an artist, the comedian woman said her daughter was an artist. It's kinda like having a mentally challenged child. I saw her pain. She pitied me and that emotion would work as well as any in lowering the assessment. I left, without an argument, pretty sure my taxes will go down. The funny woman said she'd send her daughter over to see my work. I love America. No. Really. I do.