INDIAN IN MY COMPUTER

 "Yes, Mr. Mike. Do you see my cursor?" I did. Through cyber space, all the way from Mombay, was Harry's finger in my shit. The little arrow danced across my screen, without me doing anything. "Who is the girl Mr. Mike?" Harry asked, as little boxes magically appeared and disappeared. At first I didn't have a clue what he was referring to. Was some embarrassing old lesbian porn scene, from a lonely night long ago, lost in the machine? Then I realized he was referring to my screen saver and picture of Tehoo at the White Sulphur Springs Inn. Phew! "Oh, that's my girl friend's daughter." I told my new best friend Harry. "We'll have you fixed up in a Jiffy, Mr. Mike." Harry assured me in that classic Apoo dialect. I wanted to believe him.
    My computer had gotten increasingly slow and unresponsive. I never knew whether it was satellite and the persistent thunder storms, the server, the site, the web, the fucking moon in retrograde, or the computer. Harry was my last resort. No sooner had he drained $199 out of my checking account, than he went to work. "Trust me Mr. Mike." What choice did i have? Harry went about his business as i was admonished away from the beast.
  
   HWSTV is going through the final edit, and if 'duardo and I don't kill each other, we'll have it by the time the fireworks go off. I somehow gained a week. I thought 4th of July was next week. Because 'duardo knew the actual calendar, he was a bit resistant to my frayed edge hysteria. I'm going to town on Sat. to try for a final edit. My promise of titties may have been a bit premature. I'm trying........
   Last night Diamond Dave, Pigpen, GNJohn and i went to the spot in the river we call Half Moon Bay and had beers, dogs and burgers. GNJohn proposed the supermodels blow up his beaver damn, so it wouldn't flood Pigpen's fields. I see another episode. Maybe Monticello Cable will pick up the show.

"OK Mr. Mike." Harry called back. "You are all set. The foreign addresses are out of your computer." I didn't know whether he meant foreign like in a splinter or like in Canada. Either way I was pleased. "I now turn your computer back to you." Harry said like a Genie sliding back into the bottle, leaving us mortals to plod along as best we can. Thank you Mr. Harry. God Bless your gentle soul.