I wish. I wake up at five, drooling into my pillow. Then Dennis starts hee-hawing, the crows swoop, caw and garble, and as I knot my sheets around my legs, and try my damnedest to catch a few more winks.......I give up and get out of bed. The only reason to get up at five is to hunt. Now, whatever is coursing through my system is denying me the sandman's grace of oblivian. My mind is racing through video edits, supermodel poses and cheap laughs. I lost any sense of sophistication long ago. It's all belly laughs and guffaws now. Broad strokes baby. Piss. Coffee. Radio. Computer.
I'm plagued by self-doubt. I don't know how anybody gets this old and has any sense of knowing what they are doing. Maybe that's where having kids comes in. You can figure if they aren't in jail or the mental hospital you've accomplished something. You don't get the same feeling of accomplishment with cats. Ballzy is MIA and we are all happy. Nicole is still sniffly, but so thrilled to be spared the lethal injection, that she's a real pleasure to be around. Ray has shed enough hair to fill a pillow and Spooky has new wounds on his face each day. He's such a pussy........but see what i mean? It doesn't really fill that big empty hole.
That's where money, career, power, the ability to crush unmercifully those weaklings who dare to.....Now you see why I'm not sleeping. So I call Shewho and remind her that in a couple of weeks, when it's 5pm, she'll be able to pop a cold one and sit on her back deck......Oh, did I mention Shewho is moving to WSSP for good at the end of the month? It will be a big change for her and a welcome change for me. No. We aren't living together. 20 miles apart is pretty fucking close. I look forward to it. Of course I'll tweak, and fuck it up at first. Did you expect anything less? Eventually it will all calm down into domestic bliss and we WILL live happily ever after.....knock on morning wood.
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