YOU'RE SO GAY

 A recent ruling by the high court of the state of NY asserts that calling someone "Gay" can no longer be considered as a crime of defamation. For years calling someone a "fag" was right up there with "unchaste", "criminal" and "disease ridden" in the court's eyes. The finding in a recent case in which a man sued a woman for spreading the rumor that he was gay, in an attempt to get his girlfriend to leave him, stated that what with all the recent strides in gay rights, the term "Gay" could no longer be considered derogatory. To be Gay is to be just as wonderful (or as fucked up) as the rest of us. If my girlfriend had ever paid attention to all the gay rumors surrounding my "Gay Church" and questionable life style, she would've left years ago. I take that back. Come to think of it she's been gaying me up for years. "OK, I'll wear that shirt, but NO "cack" please. Thank you."
  Sadly our NY state of enlightenment does not reach across the 7 seas. One of the gayest places on earth- France is now in the grips of a battle to see who is the most homo-erotic- homophobic organization in the anti-gay universe . Straight men, in form fitting pink shirts, kerchiefs and short shorts, are storming the beaches of Normandy, drenched in Pour Homme, spouting anti-gay vitriol. I love the topsy turvy, contrary aspect to all this, but scratch the surface and these fags ain't  gay at all. In fact they are about as unchaste, criminal and disease ridden as a Frenchman can get. I realize the French are not a cheerful, funny people, but I'd suggest instead of worrying what Vischy General, blew what Gestapo sargent in which hotel in Paris, they should stop these poseur fag-haters. I guess the first step is to spread rumors that they REALLY ARE Gay (whatever the hell that means anymore). In France it's obviously still an insult. That's a start.