REPORT FROM THE TREE

 As gun season winds down, here's what's been going on- not much. I think it was John Cage who said that "nothing" exists. All you have to do is recognize and embrace it. A serious deer hunter makes nothing failure's companion, accompanying him or her into the tree. It's been a long season. From the excitement, pain and ultimate success of mid-October to the wet, cold, blank days of December, I've kept at it. Since the the roof went on the shul (that has yet to close) there is no immediacy in pouring more money into the place. Better to try my damnedest to get a look, and hopefully a shot, at one of the two giants I'm hunting. I feel confident they are both still alive and in their core areas- if I haven't spooked them out.
    Whitetail bucks don't get old by chance. Judging from the sign, both of these bucks could top 200 pounds with wide heavy racks. They are the kings of their domain and the only thing that will put them within range of my gun will be sex. The second rut will kick in any day now. Yearlings that now weigh enough or does that did not breed during the first rut, may now come into estrous. A hot doe during muzzle loader season may be the only hope I have. The clock is ticking. December 17 the curtain closes.

On the home front the Lion cage has been hit twice by vandals. A month or so ago someone dropped off a big fuzzy, stuffed orangutan, which I immediately put in the cage. Last week someone tipped it over and tossed banana peels and empty wine bottles in the cage. Of course I suspected my asshole neighbors. Yesterday a bunch of Penthouse magazines, kleenex and hand creme showed up, surrounding the caged beast. This time the neighbors were not up. OK, it is the holidays. Anything I put in public can be a lightning rod for community response. The Hasidic teens broke the GOD LOVES FAGS sign and the FOR SALE billboard was stolen down by the river. So it's not too surprising that the Lion of Judah cage is being bombed. I've got my suspects. Careful touching those bars. A little electricity goes a long way.
   My sister Mrs. Budinski is having a party and my niece Sari is baptizing her new baby Tyvek this weekend, so I won't be able to hunt. I wish my family would read the NYS hunting season syllabus and not schedule social events during this time period. The rudeness of Uncle Johnny Uncle Johnny dying during deer season has never been forgotten. Come on people. Stay healthy until after Dec. 17. I'm busy.