OLD FISH IN A SHALLOW POND

When I was 12 I wanted to be 16. When I was 16 I wanted to be 26. When I was 26 I was married, divorced, broke and felt so old and out of touch with the youth, that I can remember actually saying "I'm way too old to be a "punk". That shit's for the kids." Then I met Sally Webster and Freddy "Fritz" Fox, the driving front section of the SF band THE MUTANTS. Sally's a little younger than I. But Freddy was quite a bit older. Their stage antics proved punk was ageless. They turned my sorry ass mindset around. Never again was I to feel too old for anything. In fact, I reverted to the old ways of my youth. I began adding ten years to my age. By the time I was 40 I'd grown a full grey beard and told anyone who asked that I was "50." I looked it. Nobody questioned my arithmetic. Now days I've lied about my age for so long I can't remember how old I am. Let's just say a little under 100.
   Age seems to be a big issue for a lot of people- esp. women. They seem to be more vulnerable to the steam rolling youth culture that permeates print, TV, interweb and coffee klatch media. Those yentas on THE VIEW aren't idiots because they are old. They are just idiots. Sure, everyone loves to look at and be surrounded by beautiful young men and women. I'm lucky enough to know a bunch. But I never feel old around them. And, to their credit, they never make me feel that way. I pick my friends wisely. And that comes with age. I'm in love with a beautiful woman, of indeterminate age, who at times also suffers from feeling "old". That's why I made her the piece in the above post. It's called Full of Shit. Because it's tragically true.
   Age is fucking awesome, to be celebrated, not bemoaned. When someone like the hardbodied, picture in the attic, GNJohn, calls me "Grandma" I say thank you. Rob Kennedy is in his 90's and look at him! My grandmother lived to be 105, outliving the pacemaker she got when she was 90. Her name was Mary Ethel Jennings. Google her / pacemaker! Nobody could have a better role model. So to all you old "hippies", "punks", "Gen. Xers", and aging "Millennials", (men or women) own it you fucking geezers. It's never too late to get up on stage and twerk yer ass off. Even if that's soooooo "last year". HAPPY and HEALTHY NEW YEAR.