Tuesday, May 20, 2008


Never one to refrain from sticking his big nose in my business, my old man suggested I take Shewo hunting. I reminded him of the last time I had brought along a woman,(whom I was sleeping with) hunting. Thinking it would be good for the relationship I had taught my ex wife how to shoot and eventually hunt. It didn't always go so well. Once she threatened to shoot the dog and more than once I could feel the sights on me. So you can understand how I would not want to repeat the past."My woman is only interested in the kitchen and the bedroom." I told the old man. There was silence on the other end of the phone. Then, in his patented snide tone- "You let me know how that works out."
This past weekend Shewo came up for a visit. On Satuday morning I woke up at 4:30 am like always and hit the woods. I parked down by the bridge and went across the river. By 7:00 the morning was not going too well. I had spooked a bird off the roost and fought my way through a tangle of muddy logging tracts and under brush to the bend in the river across from Gilkey's farm. Nothing was talking. Then I heard a far off gobble. Where? Of course back across the river. It'd been raining a lot up here, so when I stepped in the river i immediately knew it was a mistake. The water was fast and up to my thighs. Somehow I made it across with the gun over my head. I crawled up the ridge in wet clothes and got on the gobbling bird. But he hung up. So I decided to pull off and go get Shewo out of bed, so I could put her on a hot bird.
She was game and brought along her camera. "You aren't going to shoot it are you?" she asked with crinkled brow and pout. I asured her I wouldn't as i loaded my gun. Then I admitted that I wouldn't know until the last minute if I'd pull the trigger. It's called hunting- not photographing.
We drove her car behind the cemetery and crept up on the birds, that were by now out in a field. With the first call they sounded off. Then they damn near ran us over in a hen searching frenzy. Shewho clicked away as I scanned for a tom. Jakes! This many teenagers could kick a big bird's ass. They putted and gobbled and eventually gave up and moved off. Shewho was tickled with the whole experience. But as we headed back for the car she hugged my gun arm and said "I'll cook breakfast. Then lets go back to bed." Now that's the way to take a woman hunting!


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