THE SELF-ABNEGATION OF THE ARTIST'S ARTIST

I know. It sounds like a Herzog film. And to be honest I had to look up "abnegation" just to make sure it wasn't some sort of code for jerking off. But there it was- denial, sacrifice.... All those years of putting gravel in my sneakers and cinching the barbedwire belt ever tighter had finally been recognised. But artist's artist? That one I didn't have to look up. Everyone knows that's a nice way of saying you are obscure and while your peers have careers, you work in the post office or worse. Like the more common term of "musician's musician" you play the subway and coffee houses while others get Grammys. But the saddest thing is, it's true. My recent show and resulting press had summed it up. I was two steps below obscurity and tickled pink to be called any kind of artist. In the words of one of those more successful peers, "What next?"
15 years goes by in the blink of an eye....