THE GNOME IS HOME

Ever since my dismal experience with Yage, I've been craving a visit to the land of psychedelia. Last night the sharp talons of reality were pried loose from my weak flesh. The occasion was opening night of Slick's basement disco in Woodridge. Unlike the meditative atmosphere of the dome, the basement disco is pure mirrored hedonism. Horst and Sombre Paul were on the wheels of steel and the ball was spinning. A couple of members of the Pussycat Dolls were gyrating in the corner while Japanese Aya painted flowers and lip kisses on the tanned back of the half naked yoga instructor Airin. A day of beer and pot had led into a night of more beer and pot- along with a smattering of mushrooms. This was just what the Dr. ordered.

I woke up this morning with purple eyelids, scarlet lips and a beard streaked like a technicolor dreamcoat. Next to me a rodeo clown would have looked like a Methodist minister. I had split the small amount of 'shrooms 4 ways, but it was just enough to kick my boozy high into overdrive. The disco looked like a gin mill on the Newburgh waterfront circa 1973. My jaw hurts from smiling so much.
Being the non-threatening geezer in this citadel of youth is not a bad position to be in. My mentally impaired dance moves and loud red, white and blue pants seem to somehow work in my favor. Even The Pussycat Dolls gave me a nod and a thumbs up when I hit the dance floor. Why I couldn't have this effect on women when I was young and realitively good looking is a mystery to me. But what the hell. I'm thankful for whatever I recieve these days. M.Louise, Mysterious Amanda, Holly Dolly, Japanese Aya, French Morgane, Yogi Airin, and the second line from the Pussycat Dolls all watched as I busted my herky-jerky moves on the disco floor on a mellow head of mother nature's finest. I wish Shewho could've been there, but she'll be happy to know that no one made fun of me and apart from painting me up like an Indian princess I drove home at 3 AM unscathed. May the LGM bless this disco. I hope the gnome is always home.