* NONE OF THIS MAY BE TRUE

Anyone who tells you turkey hunting is easy is full of shit. Sure, you may get lucky, have a tom gobble to the slamming of a car door, stroll in the woods and shoot a bird with no effort....but it won't happen twice. I've hunted turkeys seriously for 20 years and I still make every mistake in the book. I call too much, too little, too soft, too loud, bust birds, and when the chips are down I can miss them. And when you aren't making mistakes you can't find 'em, the weather turns foul, you spook 'em from the roost or a multitude of other things can go wrong. That's exactly why I love it so.
   The past week has been tough. I'm not working so I have every day (no matter what the weather) to hunt. You can only hunt until noon, so I'm up at 4:30 am and in the woods by 5:15 am. Aside from opening day the only other day where the birds were hot was Sunday. Milawyer and I went out to White Sulfur Springs to try our luck. No sooner were we set up than the birds started gobbling. They were quite a ways off, but after an hour of calling they started to work their way towards us. It sounded like a half dozen or more toms or jakes. I'd let a few jakes walk, but now I was willing to shoot any legal bird. Forget trophy hunting I wanted a nice marsala for dinner. We were situated perfectly on the edge of some big hay fields, with birds gobbling all around us, but we couldn't see the birds. The globally warmed woods are at least 3 weeks ahead of schedule. Then just as I caught sight of a giant in full strut out in the field a big group of deer ran through the opening, followed by another hunter. FUCK! They shut up. We were screwed. We left WSS birdless.

This is the way it's been going. I've had 3 coyotes come in on my calls. I can't tell you how many I shot, but by the time the third one showed up I'd resolved not to shoot anymore. They somehow know. I pulled up the gun, put the sights on his chest and........he didn't move. I waved my hand. Nothing. Finally I barked and he hightailed it across the field. The hunt was ruined.
  Today I only had hens cackling from the roost. I hunted Diamond Dave's, GNJohn's and was driving past Gilkey's when I spotted a big group of birds right behind the house. I pulled in XRoadJohn's driveway and snuck down in the woods. Misjudging where the birds were, they caught me as i neared the field. See what I mean about repeating mistakes? By 9:00 am I was fed up. As a last resort I decided to drive to Montgomery to hunt Mupp's. I sat down by Fairburn's shack and made a few calls. I heard a gobble up and over the ridge, down in the pines. Immediately I got up and walked to the top of the hill. He gobbled again. He was close. I sat against a big oak and put the gun on my knee. I saw a white head, then it disappeared into the thick vegetation. I never called. He gobbled again......and stepped out.  I settled my blurry sights and squeezed the trigger.

21 lbs. 9 inch beard. My confidence has been restored.