FOUR INCHES OF CLOTHES AND THREE INCHES OF DICK

Where was I? That's right- lucky 13. Turned out the 13th was a bust. Neither Savage nor I saw much of anything. But on the morning of the 14th things heated up again. I had a bunch of does out in the brushy field. Then I heard a grunt. This was the spot where I had seen the big one a few days before. I pulled up the binocs and got on the dark body slinking through the field, nose in the air, as does scattered. To my disappointment it wasn't the buck I was hoping for. He crossed the field a few times, then gave up and headed for my woods. I stood up and clipped my release. It was an automatic response. I'd already decided I wasn't going to shoot this deer. He came within 30 yards. He was a nice 8, not a giant, but if I hadn't seen the big boy I'd try to drop him in a heartbeat. Then he was gone.
  For the next couple of days I stuck with this stand, morning and afternoon. I saw does, another big coyote, but no bucks. By Friday afternoon bow season was over. And i'd come up short. I'd missed a coyote, wounded a buck and killed 2 does (one with the bow and another mercy killing with the 9mm.). For all the hours I'd spent in a tree it wasn't much to show for it. But no time to mope. Opening day of gun was Saturday.
   I decided to pull off the brushy field. It was too close to my neighbor's property. I knew if I shot a big buck so close I'd never hear the end of it. Instead I returned to Majestic. I got to my stand in the dark. I looked up to see a big hulking figure on the dawning skyline. SOME FUCK WAS IN MY STAND. But before I could get too worked up i heard the familiar nasal whine of my good buddy Buddy Budde. "I should've called you last night. I'll get down." Of course I wouldn't have it. I turned on my heels and headed for my other stand.
   Opening day was a bust. I saw a doe and a spike and that was it. After dark we all gathered at Mupp and Ginger's. This is a tradition we kept for years. Now with my folks gone and the other old timers not feeling up to the party, it was left to Savage and I to reign as the elders, while giggling kids and all the rest laughed and told stories of an opening day with no kills. There were plenty of deer seen but no one pulled the trigger. That's OK. No sense in tagging out early. The best is yet to come. Today's another day. It's cold. Pile on those layers and get in that tree.

PS- My neighbor RNButch got the big ten at 6:30 am opening day. Congratulations to him. I'm headed back to the brushy field stand. I hear there's still a big eight running around. With a little luck.....