Wednesday, June 26, 2013

SUPERMODEL LION HUNT

  As any artist knows- you are only as good as your next piece. The first step is done in our efforts to get HWSTV on the air. The 'teaser pitch" is up on youtube. Now it's up to the Hollywood boys. If I was a bit more savvy with this shit I'd post the link right here. As it is I'm lucky to be able to email it to the right parties.  Between my infected mac and the slow satellite, my stuff's going out just a little faster than a telegram during the Indian Wars. But that's not going to slow me down when it comes to the next episode.
    Yesterday I got ahold of Pigpen and his ag. plated pick up, and in a driving thunderstorm, we drove out to Ferndale to buy the beginnings of what will be a lion cage- a 50 year old hay wagon.  Back in the early 80's  when I was attending seminary at Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley, CA, I wanted to do this installation in the beautifully groomed school's commons. Very simply, my idea was to drive a big stake into the middle of the commons and chain a lion up there for a day. Alas, I was more broke back then than I even am now. The lion would cost $600 for a day's work. My work study money wouldn't stretch that far. But I never forgot. Like my Virgin Birth Project......someday.
    So as the hay wagon bounced and slid along the rain slicked back roads, and i leaned on my horn trying to get Pigpen to slow down, I formulated episode 2. First I would build the cage. This is the easy part. All i have to do is remove the side slats on the wagon, level the bed and build a 3 sided and roofed structure. The front wall will be nothing but bars. Mrs. Butch will be able to look out of her window and see the empty, waiting cage. Next step go to Africa.......wait.......what will we wear? Next step- go clothes shopping. I'm thinking pith helmets, knotted belly shirts (for the supermodels not me), knee socks and kaki shorts. Since we are going to try to capture the lion alive, we won't need guns. I'm sure Carlito has a good rope, some machetes and maybe a cargo net. We'll figure out something.
   Once we are in Africa we have to rent a Land Rover with zebra stripes, a guide or two, and a really strong box. I'm sure they have Staples in Africa. Then, once we capture our lion, we all fly back and put the lion in the cage. The Hassidic community will leave their bouncy castles for this one. Teehoo just graduated from a tony NYC private school and she assures me that  she took a course in "lion taming", so she's in this episode. I have the chair and whip. Don't ask.  Now, I know this may not be enough for an entire episode, so I'm thinking we can unveil the lion during another try at the bikini car wash. If only the weather would cooperate. Gotta go. LA is calling.
 
 
    
  
      

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