THE END OF THE RIDE

 Once upon a time in the not too distant future. 

     After the wars in Europe and the Second Insurrection on January 6, 2023 a family from the suburbs of Connecticut happened to be visiting Florida when the bombs were dropped. Deep in the bowels of the Disneyland theme park, the family was alive, but trapped on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Drinking from the ride's canal, surviving on popcorn and discarded cotton candy, removing the clothing from the automatons and dressing as pirates it would be months before the northern tourists emerged from their carnival ride tomb. They were not prepared for what they would find.

    The penis of the United States, now known as Floridaski and its capital Trumpengrad (formerly Mara Lago) was the seat of power for the entire Western hemisphere. The ordinance that fell of the U.S. was the newly developed Democratic Neutron bomb. Because of a chip that was implanted in the Covid-19 vaccine the death ray could zero in on anyone who voted for the Democratic Party, sparing Republicans, Q-Anon followers and the unvaccinated. No buildings or infrastructure were damaged. As it turned out the family was never really trapped, but when Goofy (who had voted for Biden) dropped dead in the gondola they panicked, ran (and swam) for their lives and got lost in the cavern. Being from the suburbs they had no sense of direction. Once the batteries in their cell phones went dead they were helpless.     

      In the months that they were lost underground the political landscape had radically changed in the U.S. Eventually they found an exit door. As the family stood squinting in the Floridaski sun, their limp hat plumes, eye patches and plastic swords dangling obscenely at their sides, a crowd of overweight white people in shorts, Mickey Mouse hats and Hawaiian shirts, all carrying AK-47s, stared back. Mumbling about how Disneyland sure ain't what it used to be, the crowd pressed their tickets into the hands of the ragged pirate family and got on the ride. A new Goofy snapped to attention and saluted the sweaty crowd barking "HEIL TRUMP!" The crowd enthusiastically responded. "HEIL TRUMP!"

    The Connecticut pirates slowly made their way to the information booth, but before they could talk to anyone a large jack-booted Mickey Mouse stepped in their path. "Where the fuck do you think you pirates are going?" the mouse demanded. The father (who had voted Republican) smiled compliantly and explained that he and his family just wanted a room and a bath, that they were a loyal Disney family and....."ENOUGH!" the mouse screamed cracking the pirate across the face with his whip. "Get back on the ride. You know the rules. No pirates above ground." Then the shocked family looked around and realized that all the glassy-eyed custodians, snack bar workers and ticket collectors wore a giant "D" and went about their tasks like beaten down zombies. It turned out that what Democrats weren't killed outright were enslaved as minimum wage workers with no healthcare or social security. It was impossible to tell the Democrats from the pirate automatons. What was the family to do? Then the oldest of the two daughters spoke up. She was an ex-beauty queen who had once been groped by the former President and present Czar of U. S. R. (United States of Russia).  "Maybe I can talk to Mr. Trump, Daddy. He'll help us." It's worth a try thought the father. If only his daughter could get in the Pink House, she could straighten it all out. To be continued.....