GOT GAS

 I don’t carry a handgun in public, although I have a full carry permit issued by the State of New York. I’m self-aware enough to realize that taking full advantage of my second amendment rights would not always be a good idea. Reason #1: I’m not a very good shot. If (God forbid) I was in some crazy dangerous situation that required that I pull out my firearm in order to protect myself or the lives of others it may not go well. Life ain’t like on T.V. I could do way more collateral damage than maybe just crawling into a fetal position and minding my own business. Reason #2: I have a temper. I’m not violent, but my voice raises (without me even realizing it) when I feel wronged, disrespected, or get overtly frustrated. Even though I’m “doing the work,” recently I’ve been confronting a system that could try the patience of Job. The post office was only yesterday. Today I had to order propane.

 

Twenty years ago, I was really broke and happened to be late paying my gas bill. The company COMBINED ENERGY SYSTEMS decided I should be punished for this monetary slight. So, they took me off automatic delivery and required that I pay up front or give them $350 deposit for my hot water and cooking gas. I opted for the pre-pay. I have a small gas tank and a big gas tank hooked up together. When the big one runs out, I turn on the small one and go to the CES office to order more gas and pay for it. No big deal. This is the way I’ve been doing it for years. My system works. The women at the front desk at CES are always friendly and efficient. All……..except one.

 

There’s one woman in that office that I remember having an argument with years ago. As luck would have it, they were busy and she was the person I dealt with today. She didn’t remember me, but I remembered her. At first everything went smoothly. I explained my efficient system and that I needed ex-amount of gas. “Does your gauge read 30%?” she asked. I didn’t even get into the fact that my gauge has never worked from day one but explained to her that “When I run out of gas in the middle of the night, I turn on the auxiliary tank and come in here to pay for more. I just want to pay you for a gas delivery.” My voice was straining and starting to raise in volume. ‘That’s not cost -effective for us.” She countered flatly and indicated that NO I could NOT get gas today and turned her back. Excuse me, but how is me driving to your office and offering to pre-pay for my gas delivery not an efficient, cost-effective process? It was here that I blew my top.

 

“You! It’s YOU that I can’t deal with!” I ja-cused, identifying the real problem. “Please get me somebody else to take my order. Fer Christsake! Thirty fucking years I’ve been a customer and still you insist on treating me like this?” This got everybody’s attention, but nobody moved. One woman cowering behind her desk instructed me to lower my voice. “There’s other customers, sir.” I’d forgotten about the little old lady in a surgical mask that I’d passed on the way in. Sorry ma’am. Rebuked, I stood there silently steaming as my nemesis vanished. What should I do? After about 5 mins., a very nice woman came up to the counter. “Can you help me?” I asked in exasperation. “I hope so.” She said with a wry smile. She took my credit card, completed my order and I left with a headache and knot in my stomach. Thanks, CES.

 

I know what you are thinking - Jesus Christ, Osti can’t leave the house without getting into an argument. Well, I hear you. I feel exactly the same way. If I did carry a gun I’d be running out of ammo by noon.

 

The weather is cooling, and I have plans to get in the tree this afternoon. Chances are I won’t meet any humans in the woods. THANK GOD! Even if I don’t see anything the meditative process will hopefully calm me. I’m still on the CES delivery schedule to take advantage of hot water and hot meals that I pay dearly for. Capitalism at work. For now - got gas.