IN THE MEAT SEAT

There's so many metaphors between hunting and life I don't know quite where to start. The most glaring example would be persisitence through failure. Citizens don't understand, what with all the deer crossing the road in front of the Beemer, or nibbling the bonzi on the front lawn, that hunters can't shoot a couple deer every time they step in the woods. And this part of the season is the toughest to hunt. The rut is over, hunting pressure has the critters spooked and one is lucky to see a fresh track in the snow, let alone get a shot at a buck. Nonetheless you get up before dawn, and hit the woods in the 10 degree chill, blowing snow or freezing rain. Except this morning. It's pissing sleet and I'm fed up. I can't get myself out the door. Just like life.
As things go my life is pretty good these days. No more trouble doll girlfriends with heroin habits and sex change husbands. No more mean, miserable wives who suck the joy out of every sleigh ride. AND no more bone crushing loneliness because i had neither. I get along fine with my cats, friends, family and the odd visit from Shewho. Oh, and there's the models. Like seeing deer, meeting models takes a good guide. My favorite guide is my buddy Slick. He draws them like flies. Once again, like hunting, some guys just have the stank on. Savage Lynch can step in the same woods his brother, or Bird and I have hunted hard , to no avail, and see and shoot a monster buck. Slick's like that with the skinny, long legged ladies. People ask me where he meets them? Wherever young good looking guys, with money, hang out I guess. Savage won 't tell me where he hunts either.
Morgane's only one in a long line of supermodels I hope to get in the woods. Today I recieved an email from one of my favorite girls Veronica. She's working in Singapore with a whole bevy of hot girls. As we all know, hot girls draw hot girls like coyote to fox urine. Now that Morgane has hit the woods, Veronica, Betty, MTVGeorgie, et al may want to grab the gun and don the Sorels. In the meantime Veronica sent me a pic of a hot nameless Slovanian. And don't forget Morgane is putting the wings on Dec. 4th for the V. Secret TV show. Check your local listings. Now I have to check my traps. I'll bring the gun....just in case.