ONE HOUSE, ONE GUN, 8 BLOODPRINTS, ONE PHOTO, 14 COLLAGES AND 8 EPISODES OF DISPOSABLE TV

This past holiday weekend was a flury of activity. I hunted. I drank. I smoked. I ate and acted host to a group of church congregants. There was Chuckles, his wife Contessa von Freeland and their son Ace. Then there was Stevie and Mikey the Germans, and DH, BE, E and N, Al B. Heche Kaban,Marianna Louise, Horst, Slick, Justin and Leeza Jean. And that's not to mention my neices, Duffus the dog and some others I can't remember. So as you can imagine i'm stressed out. I'm not used to that many people at one time. I love 'em all.... but Christ!
So today i'm chillin'. I picked up my frames for the show from Brent Herzog and consulted over his turkey adventures. He's got a hot spot outside of Woodstock, but hasn't been able to close the deal. In my estimation he's not getting in touch with his "hen side". He's too eager. Too much of a slut. I tell him to hold a little back. "Be more coquettish." I tell him. "That tom needs a little mystery." It's a common rookie mistake. When you heat up a bird and he's gobbling to every car door slam, you naturally want to keep him going. But when he gets close you want to act like you're heading away. Give him the cold sloulder. "You'll drive him nuts." I assure Brent and head home with my frames.
My Brooklyn art show is a week from Saturday at 8 PM at Marianna and Horst's apartment @ 190 Grand St. #1R.. This is the inventory so far- (see title). Contessa von Freeland asked how much the collages were? I told her 10k and she snickered. "You'll never get that." she informed me, glaring through her monocle. "And $75,000 for the house? MY GOD!" I thanked the Contessa for her vote of confidence and went about my business. This is a tough crowd. See you there on June 7th. All prices are negotiable.