CROSBY, STILLS, NASH AND POP

My musical history starts in 4th grade. I played the trumpet (badly). I was the only one in my class who didn't make band. The teacher said i wasn't the worst. Oh yeah? I had no talent. I quit. I was devastated. I picked up a pencil and started to draw. In the 60s when everyone with or without talent was picking up guitars I isolated myself on the couch and rolled joints. In 1969 at 16 I went to The Aquarian Exposition (Woodstock) with my 14 year old brother Bird, in Bethel. It was wet, muddy and life changing, but not to the extent that it gave me any confidence that I could play. Music was there to be appreciated, but without talent I stayed on the couch. Anybody got a match?

The Allman Brothers played my college gym in NC. Duane was still alive. In 1973 after dropping out of art school, I moved to Woodstock (the town). Albert Grossman and Paul Butterfield lived down the road. It was like a a musician retirement village. In 1975 I moved to San Francisco. Punk Rock came and at 25 I felt way too old. I hung out at The A-Hole, Valencia Tool and Die, The Deaf Club and knew loads of SF punk band members. I did a little promoting of shows. The Mutants, Liars, Rank and File, and hundreds of others played every week. I went to art school and seminary, never taking the stage. I started writing poetry, bought a cow and started MO David Gallery. In 1983 I moved the gallery to the East Village.

I just missed NO New York but met all the players and finally took to the stage (not as a musician but as a performance artist). I still didn't have any talent, but by now I realized it didn't matter. At 33 I started my first band PURPLE GEEZUS and THE CHURCH OF THE LITTLE GREEN MAN with Jerry Williams, Rob Kennedy and Scott Jarvis. I sang (hollered), danced (jerked and spazzed) and had the best time of my life. I still couldn't play a lick of music but the crowd didn't mind. Fuck this artworld crap. I would get into the musicworld. We recorded, put out a couple of cassettes and some vinyl, played every club in NY but couldn't get a deal. By 1992 we had burnt out and broke up. I went to the first Lallopallooza and dropped acid with the Butthole Surfers in their trailer. I was 40. In 1995 I bought a church and moved to Glen Wild, NY.

In 2001 after six years in the country i founded another band back in the city- BLACK TRACTOR with Samoa, R Kennedy, Mark Fairchild and Bob Bert. We recorded, but never played a gig. I bought a guitar and started writing songs. Now at this point in the tale you would think maybe I'd really discover my inner musician, get a record deal and.....fuck this musicworld crap. I sat on the couch and played guitar.

In 2006 I met Josh Druckman who has a recording studio in Woodridge. I recorded a bunch of songs and plan on putting out a CD called LUCKY 13.......someday. This past May I formed THE BAND OF ALL FAITHS with RI Travis, Dreiky Caprice, Sarah Phillips and Josh. We played a few open mics at Dutch's (the local bar) and sucked, but i don't care anymore. Last week Bird celebrated his 56th birthday by going to Bethel Woods (Woodstock) to see Crosby, Stills and Nash. He asked if I wanted to go? I begged off. Those geezers didn't speak to me anymore. Last night I snuck in ATP at Kutsher's Hotel and saw Iggy Pop. I had worked all day painting a house. My back and neck hurt. I was tired and half drunk, feeling my mortality and not a certain amount of failure, but goddamn if that skinny old man can't put on one helluva show. Now that still speaks to me. I wonder if there's still time to be famous?