OCTOBERFEST ALL SAINTS HARVEST CHURCH

It's been a month since the mortgage burning church and time to schedule another service. The great success of the Memorial weekend church sets the bar very high for the next one, but I'm confident in this new, younger, more energetic and better looking congregation. It's obvious I can't depend on the elders anymore. And really, I wouldn't have it any other way. It was my dream to be able to amalgamate the congregation with family, local hillbillys and fresh faces gathered from an ever changing global tribe. The mortgage burning church was evidence that this was not only possible but necessary to rejuvenate an evolving theology for the 21st century.

Now the task becomes how do we build on this without becoming unwieldy, bloated with press or buzz? This is my job. And if I do say so I am an expert at keeping things obscure and out of the public eye. Shewho video taped the May service and the document is so good, so magical, catching all the action, that I issued an edict that it cannot be seen. Right now it is secured in the deepest, darkest recesses of Shewho's purse that I am confident it will never see the light of day. I gave her my laptop over a year ago to be fixed. That was the last I ever saw of that. I rest my case. Anyone seeing how much fun church can be will be banging at my door with dollar and match in hand. Yes, all are welcome but I want to keep a lid on it. Fame would cripple the church. Just look what happened to the Christians.

With this all said I want to announce the next service. It will be scheduled for an early October Sunday @ 2pm. I can't be more specific until I check with the Band of All Faiths and The Solid Green Dancers. Bow season opens on the 15th so it will be before that. The theme will be Satan, beer, life, death and pumpkins. The weather is unpredictable that time of year and the church may be chilly so bring a sweater. Start making your costume. Bring a pie or a big bag of eye medicine and a dollar to burn. Here we go again!