WE PUT THE FUN BACK IN FUNERAL

Yeah, I've done my crying. And now it's time to get down to business. We've got a church to put on. A week ago I got word that Jerry Williams was very sick with a bad liver and in the hospital in Joshua Tree, CA. I called up his room. He sounded like he had a mouth full of marbles (probably from the pain meds.) but was still the same old Willie. We talked about the up coming church and how I sure wished he could come back and man the organ. The conversation didn't last long. A week of email updates later Jerry Williams is dead. He would have been 62 on Thursday. As Scott Jarvis put it- "Elvis has left the building."

The church was formed in 1986. After a short stint of services around the holidays the church elders decided to shift the focus of the church to special events: births, deaths, wars and major terrorist attacks. We called a service for Desert Storm and one for 9/11. We had a few baptisms, a wedding or two and luckily just a few memorials. But now as the congregation ages, I'm afraid it will be funerals that bring us together. As is the custom I will be getting Jerry's name tattooed somewhere on my person. It joins Richard Hoffman, Greg Bershad, Baby Gregor, Steve Parrino and Jackie Bryer- not a bad record for over 20 years. We have a surprisingly resilient congregation.

Now, for those of you who have never been to a Church of the Little Green Man funeral, fear not. We look at death like most things, as a chance to celebrate life. Before Jerry's condition took him out of the picture the church was already planned. Being the frugal, pragmatic soul we all knew, Willie knew if he couldn't attend one way.....well he could be there in another. To all those who knew and loved the old coot, I hope you can make it. Full halloween costume is recommended. The jack-o-lanterns will be carved and lit. Plenty of instruments will be in the church. If it's warm pitch a tent. Motels and couches in various houses are still available, but going fast. Come and celebrate Saint Jerry Williams. The oldest tree in the forest has been felled. Nothing more to do than start a nice fire in the stove. Willie will be here...guaranteed.