WAY TOO GAY INTERIOR DESIGN

 Recently i told my mom I was not only building stuff for my client Diamond Dave, but was in fact selecting and buying furniture for the place. "Well...." mom noted proudly in her measured tone, "that makes you an interior decorator." Damn! She was right. So, embracing my new job title, I donned a purple bow tie and some pointy shoes and headed for ye old shoppes. I don't have much of a shopping gene, so I enlisted the mad mid-century modern skills of Shewho. She's hard wired to sniff out anything with a honey finish or wrought iron leg from the 50 yards. I swept out the old truck and we hit the road.
    A couple of years back people up here in the mountains were giving away 50's furniture, focusing on attaching the big price tags to primitive and "shabby chic" crap that the city people were snatching up. Those days are gone. The reality tv storage shed and picker shows, along with the internet have screwed up everything for us pro-shoppers. Still, there are bargains to be had if you put on the miles. We headed up rt. 209 and found a place with some chrome and leather chairs that would look great next to the glass coffee table. As I pulled out the cash the man asked if I was a dealer? "I'm an interior decorator....designer.....construction guy....ahhhhh.......contractor....." Shewho was giggling so hard she almost bit her tongue. As soon as the words interior decorator were formed they stuck in my throat, sweat beaded on my brow, and I backtracked like a mentally deficient oaf. Back in the truck Shewo couldn't stop laughing at my inability to own my new title. The bow tie and pointy shoes just didn't compensate for my hillbilly beard and Indian killer lineage. I'd have to work on my delivery.
   By week's end we'll have all the seating necessary for the BARn. A little Craigslist surfing, a visit to Sal @ his TIN CAN TRADING POST in Callicoon and we had enough bar stools and chairs to make any "Bow tie Willey" proud. DD is happy. I'm happy. My mom is soooooo proud. And as far as I know Shewho is still laughing and printing up business cards- WAY TOO GAY INTERIOR DECORATORS. I'd say something with a nice flourishing seriff font and maybe some embossing, on a buff card stock. Ooooooooooooo.