PLACE YER BETS

  Blame Shewho. She did not register to vote. So now we have casinos. I think the scapegoat mantel can be passed from PGH to her shoulders without too much difficulty. Maybe that will allow George to settle down and make a better shot on a deer. Good luck buddy. You should feel lighter already.

    Now that legalized casino gaming is here, I for one, am wasting no time in setting up  a  little operation of my own. Let the big players wait for all the graft to trickle down into the pockets of government, before opening their doors in the Catskills. I'm getting a jump on things. And, not to disappoint the sociologists, I'm catering to problem gamblers with a drug, alcohol or sex addiction. My casino will be a full service operation. Luck not with you at the tables? Take a break in the back room with an umbrella drink, a line and a welcome release provided by one of our full service masseuses. Or get married in the little chapel of the pines. Homosexuals welcome.
   As far as I'm concerned, legal is legal. Why should the deep pocketed players have all the fun? Starting today I'm taking book, running numbers, setting up the poker tables and looking for used slot machines. Pigpen promises me he knows how to deal cards. So he will be hiring the croupiers. Mystery Girl will be in charge of the supermodel floor show. Long legs will be a prerequisite. This morning I tried to get some ostrich feathers from RNButch's birds for the costumes, with little success. Those damn birds sure can run. We've had legalized gaming here in the Catskills for less than 24 hours and time's a wasting.
    Until we get a roof on the casino it may be a little damp in the main room. But we have waterproof cards and umbrellas for rent.  I know initially I was against gaming. But let me tell you, I'm nothing if not flexible in these matters. I'm sewing little tuxedos for the cats and teaching them how to be greeters. "Welcome to the Casino of the LGM...." "meow." It may take a little time to get the cats on board. They all voted no. Cats may have nine lives but they hate taking chances. In the meantime I'm loading the dice, shaving the cards, and fixing whatever has to be fixed. Place yer bets ladies and gentlemen. Everyone's a winner.