ARM THE AVANT GARDE

 I'm sitting under the rainbow umbrella with Swedish photographer Kate Orne. She's doing a little background interview before our scheduled photo session. The usual topics are visited: When did you move to the sticks? How did you become interested in religion? What are your thoughts on hunting and gun control? I separate the two issues and dive straight into my most recent thoughts on gun control. But first, lets talk about terrorism.
    I'd make a great terrorist......in theory. Like I've always said, I'd also make a great homosexual .....except for the cock, or "cack" as they say in Rochester. I love every thing about being gay, a strong aesthetic, a better career, cool clothes, a sweet disposition, a soft approach to life. It all works for me , except for the nitty-gritty. You put it there and then there?  Icky.  That's just me. But just like my aversion to sucking dick, I could never really follow through on all the killing and mayhem expected of a "real" terrorist. Yet, as an idea man I have no equal. I got a few plots percolating that would send chills down your spine. In fact, they are so good, i dare not even write them down, for fear some nut job, reading my blog would put the wheels in motion. But back to the interview.
   Before i knew what I was saying, I was telling Kate my recent stance on carrying a handgun. Although I can legally carry a firearm (in NYS not NYC) I've never felt the need to do so for self protection. Plus my 9mm Ruger is a bit large and uncomfortable to really fit the bill as a concealed carry piece. Yet, what i found myself babbling about is the need for an armed citizenry to provide a public service to those in dire need. Case in point: the beheading of a woman at a processing plant in Oklahoma last week. The only thing that stopped that man from continuing to chop heads off was the boss, who just happened to be a part time deputy sheriff, and came to work packing. His quick thinking and ability to take action, stopped further bloodshed.
    I'm just thinking out loud here, but what if we put guns in the hands of the intellectuals, the intelligentsia, the artists, musicians, writers, poets......? Forget the soccer moms and ex military knuckleheads who are already armed. I'm talking college professors and Sunday School teachers. Sure we'd have to train them, but they are already smart and sensitive. They would be able to pick it up in no time. No longer would only the cops, the maniacs, the criminals and the George Zimmermans be strapped. I may be way off here, but I am thinking about buying a new, smaller, easily concealable handgun, and carrying it religiously. I sure hope I'd never have to use it on another human being. But if somebody's head is about to get cut off at the Rock Hill Diner, wouldn't you want me sitting, armed and ready, in my regular booth? I just hope there isn't a be speckled phD. at the counter who mistakes me for one of the bad guys. Maybe I should also carry my MFA with my pistol permit. Don't shoot. I'm educated.