GREEN LIVES MATTER DRUNKEN CHURCH SOCIAL DIAMOND JEWBILEE CHURCH BURNING CHURCH OF THE LITTLE GREEEN MAN

I know it's a little early to to be thinking about spring church, but what with all this warm weather, the rut being late, and having nothing better to do, i figured I'd at least start the ball rolling. It's hard to believe that it will be 60 years come 2016 that we've been burning dollars and holding services of The Church of the Little Green Man. 1956 seems like yesterday. Most of the original members are dead or in the home, but a few of us still can rock the pulpit with the best of them. I'm sorry to say that my attempts to pass off the church to younger members Slick and Tricky didn't fly. All their noise over "great themes" and "inclusive, politically correct, vagina friendly" services never materialized. So it's back in my shaky, gnarled hands. And none too soon.
   Tentatively scheduled for Memorial weekend 2016, the first service of the Diamond Jewbilee year promises to be memorable. More puppets, more stream of consciousness poetry, more pubic hair shaving! Like the churches of yesteryear, I want to bring back that old time religion. And that will just be the first of many services promised for 2016. Hell, we may even steal a page from the Christians and do one every Sunday. How you like that? There's an old saying in the church "If the youth lets you down.....fuck 'em." We still have a healthy core of supermodels, the BAF, a mighty stripper pole, and enough local politicians in our pocket to keep the cops at bay. Come on PEOPLE!
 
    This past year we convened only one service- duck/rabbit church. And although it was a good one, we can't really call ourselves much of a congregation meeting only once a year. It's just too pitiful. That doesn't even give us cult status. We have all winter to think about this and to decide how to best celebrate our 60th. All participation welcome. Bless you all.