SEX KILLERS

     Humans (and their weaponry) are at the top of the food chain amongst apex predators. As any hunter knows we are not the only killers in the woods. The past week I've witnessed up close and personal, two fisher cats, a coyote the size of a German Shepard, multiple hawks and eagles, and a curious red fox all within a few yards of my tree stand. It's one the great side benefits of sitting undetected twenty feet up in a tree. We humans are far from alone in the hunt. Given the opportunity, I used to shoot coyotes. I don't anymore. They have as much right as I do to fill their bellies. Let the chicken farmers deal with that. There's plenty of prey to go around. All predators are welcome.

    The month of October has been a switch up. The early weeks, usually quiet and devoid of activity, were filled with buck sightings and the past two weeks have been dead. But slowly that's changing. Two days ago I spotted a nice shooter buck chasing does down by the river and the late afternoon deer movement is picking up. A cold front came through on Saturday dropping snow and the temps are finally cooling off. Signs of the pre-rut are everywhere. Soon the "hot" does coming into estrus will turn a big buck's senses to mush as he worries way more about getting laid then surviving me waiting in the tree. It's all about sex. As we all know that's how everything works.

   This short hunt update brings me to the subject of todays blog: sex in the time of Covid. How the fuck is anybody (not in a steady, stable relationship) getting any? During those first months of the pandemic in the spring and summer, stories abounded of long term relationships crumbling under the pressures of lockdown in shoe box size apartments, or a hot Tinder Date experience mutating into permission to ride out quarantine together. Love at first sight and the little man in the (life) boat has taken on new meaning. But, by now this all is getting really old. More people are on the prowl than ever before. Nine months into this pandemic and I can't imagine being in my twenties (or any age) and hoping to score. How? Where? With whom? Is it worth dying for? Maybe..... Not since AIDS has sex been so intimately linked to death and disease. How's that for a turn on?

   If there's one thing the youth is good at (as I remember) it's disregarding all common sense in order to get a little. This goes for both men and women, no matter who their preferred partner is. A penis and a vagina (or any combination thereof) has a mind of its own. Those body parts may have been initially designed as a clinical delivery and receptor system whose primary purpose was procreation, but once Eve threw caution to the wind and embraced "free will" God washed HIS/HER hands with the lot of us. "I made a nice garden for you with very few rules and you pissed all over them. I see the bite in that apple. Good luck to the both of you fucks. You are on your own" I went to seminary. They teach you that on the first day.

   So I have faith that the kids are having sex- the threat of death or not. It will take way more than a global pandemic to stop the booty action. Masks, nose plugs, gag balls, and full body condoms are flying off the shelves at the re-tooled Bed, Bath and Beyond store in Soho. Capitalism is nothing if not flexible. If FORD can make ventilators......well? Just knock three times on the boarded windows and tell them MO sent you. NO REFUNDS. Business is booming!