THE CANCEL CULTURE XMAS BUNNY

  I honestly am more than happy to cancel Christmas. I loved NO THANKS giving. The debunking of the Thanksgiving myth was cathartic, as was the vodka penne and bottles of red wine that Shewho and I imbibed, as we gave thanks for each other. It felt good. I think Xmas for two is nice also. I don't mind not celebrating holidays. Every day is a fucking holiday in my life. 

Last Day of Deer Season: 

    The boys pulled in at 9am. Right on time. Last night I had seen three does and a six pointer. The buck had long brow tines, but a light rack- a two year old- not a shooter. Nobody was hunting this farm but me. I let the buck walk, hoping for at least another year for this beautiful animal. But the doe was another matter. Slowly I raised in the stand, trying to get on the mature doe. As soon as I moved she had me. There was a heavy branch about 10 feet in front of me across her vitals. I couldn't move. It was a stare down.

15 mins. later      

   Five mins. past legal shooting time the doe bolted taking the buck and fawn with her. Shaking like a leaf, I lowered the gun. That was yesterday. Today UB, Bird and Savage had arrived to put on drives. This is old school farmer hunting technique. It's just what it sounds like. Some of the hunters take up stand in strategic locations as other hunters "drive" the woods, hoping to put a deer in front of a stander. But before we could gear up and push the woods behind my house I was faced with an apparition. In the middle of the shoveled path in front of me, between two foot high snow banks, stood a cute, little, black and white rabbit. Huh? He turned, looked at me, got up on his haunches and twitched his nose. Then he hopped up on the snow and scurried away. I looked at Savage. "Did you see that?" He had.......thank God.

    I know some people in the neighborhood read HWS. So if you are missing a rabbit he's under my deck, staring blankly at a dish of cat food. I'm not much of a vegetarian. I don't have any lettuce or carrots. That's all I got. Where did this bunny come from? Was he (she?) a messenger from the past or harbinger of the future? You may think I'm reading a little too much into this rabbit. But, let me remind you that the last time a rabbit showed up at my door he was dead and needed a burial site. It was Easter. I let him be buried in the CLGM Cemetery. Aside from Jerry Williams ashes, the Easter Bunny is the only body buried in CLGM hallowed ground. The CLGM has always blurred Easter and Christmas iconography- the birth and the death. A Rabbit Named Rudolf is Coming to Town is only one of the many holiday fusion hymns we've written. The resurrection is to come. 

    I tried to put this rabbit out of my head and concentrated on putting a deer in front of one of my friends. I succeeded. On the first drive Bird shot and wounded a doe and Savage dropped his third deer in three days. Last night he shot a nice ten pointer. After a long and frustrating season, he had filled the freezer--and then some-- in the final days. UB had also shot a doe off his farm a few days ago. Bird was having a frustrating season. Bird and UB got on the blood trail as Savage and I drug out his deer. Thankfully the wounded doe was found bedded and dying. They decided not to risk jumping her. After a break for lunch we were able to recover Bird's dead doe. Finally, after hunting hard (some of us since Oct. 1) we all had deer-- and everybody made it out of the woods in one piece. There was much to be thankful for. 

   We can't put on drive after drive anymore or hump up the mountains in a foot of snow, but we still hold our own all season. We hunt hard. But today we took it easy. Leaving daylight to burn, we called it an early end to the season. But what about the rabbit? He hung around all day. Last I checked the Xmas Bunny was under the deck. This seems to be the beginning of a nice holiday tradition. Instead of presents under the tree, you get a bunny under your deck. For years some unknown individual used to drop off random thrift store holiday crap on my doorstep as what I called the Xmas Miracle. Then it stopped. There hasn't been a miracle in years. Maybe this year it's the bunny. Maybe it's the miracle. If it's the same thaumaturgist dropping off miracles, please, I draw the line at livestock. I think the Xmas Bunny has come to officially cancel Xmas. I just hope he doesn't freeze to death or Cheeky doesn't kill him in the middle of the night. He looks a little fragile. But I hear ya bunny. I repeat, every day's a holiday in my world. You want to cancel Xmas this year? No big deal. I'm down. All I want for Xmas is that I don't have to bury you in the frozen ground next to the Easter Bunny.  I can't wait to cancel Easter again.