NATIONAL MULLIGAN DAY

 I don't golf, but I know what a "Mulligan" is.  

"A mulligan is a second chance to perform an action, usually after the first chance went wrong through bad luck or a blunder. Its best-known meaning is in golf, whereby a player is informally allowed to replay a stroke, even though this is against the formal rules of golf."

     This is what Utah Sen. Mike Lee wants Trump to be granted after his impeachment. Following this definition Trump would be allowed a "do over." No harm, no foul would be adjudicated and with no consequences-- not only would a "January exception" be declared-- all future Presidents would receive a free pass to fuck up in the rough and play through. Cum stained dresses or illegal foreign wars--no problem. See ya in the club house for a gin and tonic.

    To anyone with a clear mind this sounds ridiculous. But as Trump's second impeachment trial unfolds this will most likely be the verdict. We didn't see that crappy shot. Maybe a wood this time? No amount of evidence, no video, no shit stained walls, no severed fingers or police officer's death will change the mind of the so-called Republican "jurors" sitting in judgement. Sen. Lee and his cohorts Ted Cruz and that nasty, old queen Lindsey Graham actually met with the defense team to discuss their strategy. The rules have obviously been buried in the sand trap. Using Trump's own words: "It's rigged."

    Trump's crimes run much deeper than inciting a few crackers running wild through the Capitol in buffalo hats. Instead of a toothless political impeachment, with no witnesses, Trump should be hooded, bagged and shackled, fitted with an oversized adult diaper and flown to the Haig. There, he should go on trial for crimes against humanity. The statistics don't lie. We are closing in on a half million deaths in America from Covid-19. Leading public health officials note that a cohesive Federal approach by the Trump administration, instead of a dereliction of duty, would have saved up to 40% of those lives. That sounds like genocide to me.

   None of this will happen. Unless there is an alien invasion of Galactic Court Judges Trump will start running for President-- or at the very least flex his political muscles-- the day after he is acquitted. Any other verdict and subsequent Trump move would be a complete surprise. Accepting this, my proposal would be that a National Holiday be declared for January 6. "Mulligan Day" would allow every U.S. citizen a chance for a do over. Parking tickets? Shoot an illegal spike (or bald eagle)? Litter? Beat the wife? Abuse the kids? Murder the neighbor? No problem. Pick one of the previous year's crimes, fill in the proper paper work, submit to the Federal authorities and your crime will be officially forgiven. The pardon is in the mail. Take that bloody nine iron and give it another swing. Good luck. We forgive you. You are very special. Keep your eye on the ball. HAPPY MULLIGAN DAY!

PS

Got my first vaccine shot yesterday. Special thanks to BOAF musical director Sara Nightingale!              

Description

DescriptionA mulligan is a second chance to perform an action, usually after the first chance went wrong through bad luck or a blunder. Its best-known meaning is in golf, whereby a player is informally allowed to replay a stroke, even though this is against the formal rules of golf.