NEIGHBORS

 I own a 3/4 acre piece of property that is covered with buildings and art. I depend on my neighbors for land to hunt on. Three land owners in particular - GNJohn, RNButch and ProfStephanie are the ones whose property I most regularly hunt. It's a  fluid dance of diplomacy, bribes, payoffs and graft in order to retain hunting permission in those woods. So far so good this year. But things can change as fast as you can pull the trigger.

    Private property is a religion in America, zealously protected by law so as to be indistinguishable from the "pursuit of happiness..." My property is bordered by two neighbors. One piece of undeveloped woods has stayed undisturbed until recently. The other seasonal neighbor was an old Italian patriarch of a large family who looked and talked like the mumbly Vito Corleone in The Godfather. At first we were cordial. But soon things changed. A chainlink fence went up and tensions grew. Over the years my range war with these neighbors went from cold to torrid. Guns were drawn, fences disappeared and finally the old timers died off leaving the war to be carried on by uninterested heirs. The youth ceased coming to the mountains in the summer or during deer season. The war was over. Peace was maintained.

    The other neighbor owned 16 wooded acres to the south of my church. They never showed up in the 26 years I've lived here. Then one day last fall a for sale sign appeared on the road. I immediately called. A land broker had purchased the property for $17,000 and was selling it for $35,000. I agreed to the price and was willing to sign a contract for sale that day. The broker put me off hoping to capitalize on a Covid real estate bubble in the Catskills. It worked. Within two weeks he had other offers for thousands of dollars over the asking price. I could not afford a bidding war. The property sold to someone else.

    The woman who bought the property for $45,000 immediately put it up for sale. I called again. This time the price was $181,000. WTF? That's a bit greedy. She can have it. A few days ago I was coming out of the woods and walked by a man loading up his pickup with pine boughs from this property. He was a young, white, hillbilly logger who had the contract to clear cut those woods. The pine branches were being sold as a Xmas wreath bonus. I asked if he could take the pine from deeper in the woods instead of decimating the natural green screen along the road? He did not want to be told what he could or couldn't do by some old neighbor. Within seconds he was in my face, loppers in hand. A young girl who I assumed was his daughter watched open-mouthed as her father and the white bearded old man (me) squared off on the road edge. He was armed with the loppers and I with an unloaded crossbow. It was a stand off.

    Here's the problem with neighbors. It always seems that the ones who border you, the closest in proximity, are the ones you can't get along with. As I've admitted I'm an equal opportunity misanthrope. I don't like most people no matter race, creed or color. I also have a character flaw that does not allow me to back down when confronted. I stood my ground and told the red faced cracker that I would resist telling him what I really thought of his demeanor because of the young girl. When he threatened to "pistol whip" me all bets were off. "Cover your ears honey." A string of obscenities spewed forth between the two of us.

    I wish I could get along with my neighbors. I really do. I also wish I could walk away from confrontation. Growing up a skinny kid I learned early on that standing up to a bully twice my size and not showing fear worked....most times. It's not like I never took a punch for my "quick tongue," but most times an aggressor shrank and gave up when confronted with an equal amount of vitriol. I admit that I can be an asshole, but I try to be a good neighbor. Sadly the new neighbor and I are not off to a very good start. 

     Coincidentally the Kyle Ritternhouse (defendant) and Ahmaud Arbery (victim) trials, both of which involve firearms, property and a plea of self-defense are unfolding during deer season. When not in the tree I'm in court. Both trials are fascinating. All the hot button issues of race, guns, and a white man's right to kill someone who touches the barrel of his gun are on full display. So are the failings of the education system, the police state and neighborhoods who perceive any outsider (esp. one of color) as an imminent threat to their safety. Although I hope for convictions in both cases, my bet is Rittenhouse will get off. The judge seems determined to free him. I pray the mouth breathing defendants in Georgia who chased down and killed Ahmaud Arbery get the max. Closing arguments on Monday. In the meantime the gun part of deer season opens tomorrow and the loggers will start clear cutting as soon as the ground freezes.  Christmas is coming, the time of peace and joy. Let's hope the logger and I keep our distance. Pilfered pine wreaths anyone? 

P.S.

A few hours after I posted this Rittenhouse was acquitted on all charges. One down. One to go.