Tuesday, December 12, 2023

WHAT ABOUT BILL?

 This past Saturday I invited the congregation over to the shack to partake in the consumption of the buck I shot, along with copious amounts of alcohol and squigglies. The fire was roaring on the porch as the crowd took on all the issues of our time. Of course I invited RNButch and his lovely wifey Jinelle. Taking a break from the kitchen I sat down next to RNB and asked "What are we going to do about Bill?" He frowned, shook his head and said that's what his father says every morning, "What are we going to do about Mike?" 

A little recap: Almost all the art that had remained in the Social Sculpture Park for the winter disappeared. RNB was called. He knew nothing. The police were called. They knew nothing. I put two and two together and suspected Little Bill had ordered his worker Frankie to complete the scorched earth sweep of the park. I was right. RNB reamed out his old man (now safely in Florida) as the cop looked on. Most of the work was returned, minus YESTERDAY'S RAINBOW and STOLEN DOGHOUSE. I located STOLEN DOGHOUSE destroyed and tossed in the woods. Frankie admitted trashing YESTERDAY'S RAINBOW and said he knew nothing of the SDH destruction.  "Little Bill told me to throw the umbrella in the garbage." he confided over the phone. "I'm sooooo sorry Michaleeto. I thought LB asked you...."

Back to the party: RNB and Jinelle hung out as we discussed LB and his future. "I told him that you were going to make him your next art project." Butch confided. "You know I have the DA's phone #?" I told RNB. "My father thinks I'm going to pay for his lawyer. This is what I'm dealing with. Like I didn't have enough to deal with." As an aside, RNB (well lawyered up) had recently been sentenced on a Federal indictment. He didn't have to "go away" until June, leaving us plenty of time to throw him a proper going away church. CHAIN GANG GOING UP THE RIVER CLGM is tentatively scheduled for Memorial Day Weekend. Dress the kids in black and white stripes and ball and chains. Burn your debt to society at the door.

So, this is where it stands: I've yet to call the DA. I'm weighing my options. Do I want money or to see Little Bill in shackles? It's a tough call. People are saying Little Bill was behind all the theft and vandalism in the summer. Was he? I have no idea. But if he was, he threw the Orthodox community under the bus is so doing. A shanda.

Thanks to everyone who brought food, booze and drugs to the shack on Saturday. We ended up eating most of that deer. Today I'll butcher up that little button buck and try to put a bigger deer on the ground. Muzzleloader opened yesterday in the snow. Stay tuned Little Bill. I know you're reading this.....or at least looking at the pictures. Don't forget the sunscreen.  

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