SEX AND THE COUNTRY

When those whiney, neurotic, credit card swinging, skinny, fashion victims known as Carrie, Miranda and the rest of them, first drug their shopping bags across the small screen I was working on the upper east side. Every morning I'd pass Woody Allen and Geraldo Rivera taking their kids to private school and have my coffee at the same time and place as Mrs. Phoebe Kevin Kline. Then I'd line up at the service entrance of some anonymous building with the rest of the working men and women who make those upper east side cliches' lives easier. "Did you see "Sex" last night?" one burly Polish stone mason asked me. "That Carry. What a card! Do you think her and Big.....?" I would scowl and tell him just what I thought of those bitches. Then the door would open and we all disappeared into the world of the rich and priviledged.
So now that the Sex and the City movie has hit the big screen and become some kind of "cultural" phenom, I once again find myself tensing up and spitting when I hear the news. Two wars, gas prices cruising in on a five spot, credit crunch, sub-prime mess....Shall I go on? What's all over the TV? Carrie, Miranda, and the rest of those rich, gaunt scarecrows. Now don't get me wrong. I usually like a skinny, slutty girl. But for some reason these characters bring the worst out of me. Like hearing Hitllery's voice, when I see that bunch and their swinging bags and cell phones I feel like my head is gonna explode. You may think that they sprang fully formed from some midwestern writer's idea of the upper east side woman (and they most likely did), but I'm here to tell you there's truth in those Manolos. Those kind of women exist and they are not a friend of the working man.
Recently I've heard of women taking their tweeny daughters to see this movie. I can't tell you how disappointed I am to hear this. These characters make Barbie look like a matronly role model. And I can guarantee those tweenies will eat it up. It's a government plot I tell you! Messmerize the populace with this kinda crap and they won't notice the world is crumbling. Keep the boys playing violent video games so they are ready as cannon fodder at 18 and the girls can become mindless, shopping, fembots, keeping the home fires burning, while slutting around with the local firemen. It's the American way.

Next week I'll be in the city if anyone wants to take me to the movies.