DEAD MAN SHOOTS DEER

  It's been a long season, and it's just about over. Muzzle loader ends on Tuesday. I've been in the woods for so many days, some things have fallen between the cracks. My TV service has been terminated and a pink slip in my front door (that I didn't notice for week) informed me that my electricity is to be shut off. I've spent the morning trying to get through to NYSEG on numbers that don't work. Want to piss me off? Tell me you are going to turn off my lights and make it as hard as possible to speak to someone about it. Finally I got through to someone and he took offense with my use of "damn" as in "Your damn phone #s don't work." "Sir, please do not use profanity." he officiously stated. "Damn is not really profanity....YOU FUCKING CUNT!" I informed him as the phone went dead. My phone service had been shut off.
   This morning's frustrating episodes aside, it's been an incredible season. We had a nice venison feast on Sat. night. In attendance- Savage Lynch and wife June Bug, Mupp and Ginger, Slick and Beeks, Diamond Dave and Asher, Buddy, Sarah Birka and Feetus Budde, Annie C., Drekes, Andrew and Junie Caprice, Marianna Louise and Horst, Tricky Traviss, Hollie Witchey, Sombrero Paul  and Justin the Dog Whisperer, George Holz, who did I forget? Oh, of course Shewho on the eggnog and by my side at the stove. Could never survive without her. The backstrap was served, consumed and all approved. The booze flowed. As the the evening progressed I sat there with a big shit eating grin on my puss. Hollie pointed out how happy (3 deers down) I seemed. They were all hard earned. It takes a lot to make this hunter happy. But she was right. I was down right giddy surrounded by this bunch.
   Talk switched to deer- legal and illegal. Mupp and I scored opening day and much to Savage's dismay we didn't tag our bucks, allowing us to keep an open tag, and hunt the rest of the season. On the whole, all of us are pretty legal, but sometimes it's the spirit, if not the letter of the law, that prevails. Savage was no one to talk. For years he's carried multiple tags in his pocket. "I bet you still have Ray Gilkey's tag, don't you?" (Ray had died years ago.) He had a sheepish smile on his face. "I have to admit I did get one deer posthumously." Ray always let Savage hunt his farm and provided him with extra tags. Savage  continued. "Ray gave me his tag and died before the season over. I wasn't gonna tell the DEC that the buck was killed by a dead man. Don't write that in your blog." Too late.