YOU GET THE GRAVY BOAT

  This was the weekend I was not looking forward to. It was time to empty out mom's house. When the old man died he left a pile of self help books, a very nice velore kaftan, a can of old watches and enough money to see mom through, and then some. He'd already given away his guns and the portable crapper is still up for grabs. He was not one to collect anything. He had no records, art, furniture, or treasures of any kind. Stuff meant nothing to him.
   But my mother was a way different character. I have her pack rat hoarder gene. We all knew of her good taste in clean line, well built antiques, as well as her obsession with shaving mugs. But what none of us realized was how far her china jones went. Once we started emptying the cabinets every horizontal surface was filled with breakable dishes, bowls, tea and coffee cups, platters (small and large) and yes.....gravy boats.
   I had decided early on to go for mom's every day dishes, a classic blue and white wedgewood pattern. At least I think that's what it's called. I have chipped cobbed together crap that I've gathered over the years. I would like nothing better that to toss it in the air and blast it with the 20 ga., instead of wash it one more time. A nice piece of fish and some rice and beans on mom's china sounds like heaven. But as soon as i made it known that I wanted the upgrade, everyone (esp. my sister) thought I should now have a full thanksgiving sit down service, complete with gravy boat. "Look here's another." My sister holds up another gravy boat. I resist. What the fuck do I need a gravy boat for? I know, come the holidays I'll regret this decision. Hell. I'm already regretting it. I probably do need a gravy boat.

That's the way it goes all day. We divy up all the spoils. When we come to her rings it hits home for me. I have to take a breath. I suggest we just sell her jewelry and split the cash. This is met with much disapproval. I just wanted to avoid this part. Too intimate. Seems somehow wrong to piece it out. But then I see how mom would like to see it being enjoyed by all of us. Then it makes sense. A little bling for Shewho and Teewho.
   So we pack up our trucks with her really nice stuff, some going back generations, some mom just liked and collected- clocks, maps, tables, chairs, jewelry, photos, spoons, shaving mugs, paintings, dishes, dishes and dishes.....The grandkids can have grandma's gravy boats. I'll make do without.