INFESTATION

I'm clipping my toenails, catching the end of BABYDOLL on TCM, when the phone rings. You'd think this was a fictional statement, but it's the God's honest truth. Hey, i deserve a little pampering. It's 6:00 pm and I've been working all day trying to figure out where to stash all the artwork I have displayed everywhere in order to make room for Ethelbert. I'm doing pretty good considering I keep making the stuff and never seem to sell anything. Then there's the mice. The combination of bad eyesight, low lighting and and a general malaise when it comes to cleaning the kitchen, was just the opportunity the vermin of Sullivan County were waiting for.  A couple of days ago i'd had enough. I started a top to bottom, spiral approach, working my way towards the mouse crap covered table in the middle of the kitchen. Traps were laid and 4 trays of poison were consumed in one night. Where's the trail cams when I need them? Who's on the phone? Doesn't matter.
   My house is looking like a combination of TV's HOARDERS and a Natural History Museum. I got nowhere to put the stuff anymore and the mice sense this. It used to be just some seeds in my boots. Now i don't dare get in bed with the lights off. Last night I felt something on my foot and damn near broke my neck flopping out of the bed in terror. Turned out to be Shewho's discarded sock. Phew! Now that the poison is out it's anyone's guess when one will choose my Martha Stewart sheets to make their death print.
   We live in their world. I got something that's scratching in my wall, that sounds like a flying squirrel, raccoons and 'possums are stealing the cat food and spiders live in everything. In the old days it was cockroaches. Thank God they have yet to discover the the Catskills. Today I bought more poison, baited the traps with peanut butter  and am settling in for the night. The leaves haven't even changed and all the critters seem to be lining up for a room.  Winter's coming and I think I smell something coming from under the house......