ADOPT-A-CLIT

Here's an update: The Catholic Church has blocked the opening of the "Pleasure Hospital" in Burkina Faso (former Upper Volta) in West Africa.  As I wrote before, The Raelian funded hospital, devoted to clitoral reconstruction, slated to open on Friday was suddenly canceled. The reason given was mounting pressure by the Catholic Church. Now, I'm not anti- any religion, but if I'm going to fight any church the Catholic Clergy is a worthy opponent. Replete with child sexual abuse and International banking scandals, the Vatican hierarchy is one of those organizations you love to hate. It makes a UFO cult, led by a French race car driver, in a white robe and big medalian (the symbol combines the swastika with the Star of David) obsessed with clitorises, seem downright warm and fuzzy.
     The Catholics are probably the largest and most powerful funding agent of all NGOs operating in the world. They have very deep pockets and admittedly do much good work. The recently minted Pope is a breath of fresh air after JP and Benny, but he's new on the job. There's centuries of anti-woman, anti-gay, anti-pleasure tradition in the church. Francis is only one man. Forget that the inner circle of heavy weights in Rome are Gay, they are, like J.Edgar Hoover, self-hating deniers. Church canon remains anti-homosexual. The "Elohim" would not be pleased at what their scientists created, although the hats and threads do look very alien. "A" for costuming. "F" for loving man and womankind.
    The Raelian NGO is called CLITORAID. As one person put it- "That's a sports drink I can get behind." After all my web searching I learned that CLITORAID is not embraced by all. Surprise. A SF feminist organization GOOD VIBRATIONS, withdrew their support of the organization citing the Adopt-A-Cltitoris program as the reason. They found it demeaning to African women. I know clitorises are sensitive....but Jeesh! Over the years I've symbolically adopted boys, girls, and even roads, so the chance to adopt a clitoris was definitely in my wheel house. Going to www.clitoraid.org I discovered a lot of merch. Emblazoned with a non-offending yellow flower, the graphics look like a coffee cup my mom had in the 70's. And, of course, there was a button you could push to donate. What I couldn't find was how much it was to adopt my clitoris? Nor could I figure out what I got in return. Did you get a t-shirt, a mouse pad, a certificate of ownership? Without this being clarified, I resisted donating. I at least want my adopted clitoris thanking me for my support.
   As usual I don't know where my new interests will lead me. Maybe nowhere. I emailed Rael and haven't heard back yet. I think he would be a good speaker for the Rebel Flag Burning Church. UFOs, clitorises, moonshine, girls in skimpy outfits....seems to be right on theme. Meanwhile I'm making the place "alien-friendly". They have skinny little arms and thin skin (like the Catholics). I don't want them bumping into sharp corners. According to Rael, their fearless leader is "Yahweh". Could the Jews be the original aliens? It's all making sense. Maybe I should signal them from the shul? I think I have an old TV antenna around somewhere. How about adopting a foreskin?