DT TONIGHT

The fact that I'm sitting at my computer at 7:30 am Sunday morning means I either scored yesterday, or..... Yeah, you guessed it. Two days of high winds, soft snow and rabbit screams in my ears has slowed me to a complacent crawl. If it wasn't for that $35 I ponied up I'd blow off the entire affair. Coyote hunting is tough business.

I started yesterday morning down in the river stand (where I should've been day 1). I used the turkey call this time, hoping to lure something off the hill. No luck. I saw one chickadee and a woodpecker. Then I switched to the screams of a dying rabbit, scanning the fields and river bottom. Nothing moved. The trouble with this kind of hunting (with screams and twitchy decoys) is you'll either see a coyote or nothing. It's not like sitting silently waiting for deer, and seeing a mink or a coon or any number of other critters, besides deer. Either a predator comes at the dinner bell or you just watch the snow melt.

At midday, after watching WHO'S AFRAID OF VIRGINIA WOOLF with Shewo on the couch, Elizabeth Taylor's voice made me long for rabbit screams. So I loaded up the Neon and headed for White Sulphur Springs. I climbed the mountain behind Chuck and Contessa's place and slowly worked my way back down, trying different calls and set ups. I never cut a track. The joy of seeing a coyote on the first day was wearing off. I was back on the couch before dark. The one thing I was getting was beautiful snowy field footage for disposabletv. And right at this point the show was about to go from freezing white to hot disco pink. Slick was hosting a birthday party for our friend Lani.

The only thing more surprising than seeing that coyote standing on Gilkey's hill, was walking into a basement in Woodridge and seeing big Hollywood stars boozing it up and letting their hair down. I caught the eye of some guy in the kitchen and was about to go "Hey man! Howzitgoing?" like we were old buds when I realized I just knew him from TV. Jeesh, I was star struck. Horst was there (he's in the biz) introducing Shewho and I to a cute little blond with a big smile and a firm grasp on her beer bottle. Shewho and she hit it right off with private school and local real estate talk. Turns out all these celebs are our neighbors out in western Sullivan Co., and to my amazement they were really chill and friendly. Because of the hunter's code i can't tell you who these stars were. (Remember I could've stolen Catherine Zeta-Jones' health club ID and hubby Michael's Oscars.) But both are in a big movie that just opened Friday. You figure it out. I have one more day to hunt.