LIKE (OR NOT)

Last night I was on the horn with Mystery Girl. We were discussing the Foxy Boxing church and planning the invite for the Dog Daze church. Mystery Girl is a famous supermodel/ photog and my go-to babe for all church invites. Pants? No pants? This is serious business. I guess with the Cardinal Epic turning 13 soon he should be in on these decisions. But maybe not. 13 may be old enough to get married below the Mason Dixon line, but up here in the mountains the authorities may take a dim view of a teen being so involved in these church decisions. It's one thing to shave the kid's pubes in public. It's another to put such heady decisions on his plate. Plus I know how he'll vote. NO PANTS!
   I told MG that dogs should somehow be involved in the picture. Everyone knows how much MG hates dogs, but being the trooper she is, it was she who suggested multiple canines, on short leashes, combined with stiletto heels. The girl has the spirit of the Lord within. She told how sometimes she and Sister NOYB will be in a bevy of models and talk will turn to church. Sister NOYB will suggest something and Mystery Girl will mention something else, while the other lithesome beauties stand around wide eyed and gape mouthed, wondering what religion these girls are. Always the loyal parishioners they shut up and talk turns to eye lashes and bikini waxing. Disaster averted. Keep it to yourself. They don't call her Mystery Girl for nothing.

Outside of facebook and this blog I don't hype church at all. In a day and age where people will eat spoons of cinnamon and chew homeless faces off just to go viral, the LGM wants to stay low key. Each service a few more people show up. If it keeps up like this in a year or two the CLGM will become unwieldy and we will have to close the doors. You know it's coming. I prepare a place for you.....not every one of your friends and acquaintances. It's not for everyone. Recently a neighbor who I'll refer to as Dr. Gooch characterized us as "a bunch of white people acting stupid." at a dinner party he was hosting, holding back the finger bowls until the service was almost over, causing the guests (who wanted to come) to miss the service. Well, let me just say acting stupid knows no color. We may be stupid, but never mean spirited or non-inclusive in any way. Like (or not). All you need is a dollar and a scheme. Like the sign says- ALL  WELCOME.