THE HORRIBLE SPECTACLE

All artists make fools of themselves in some way or another. But it's the ones who get paid for it and then deny culpability who get to me. Case in point is Olaf Erickson or Erik Olafson who recently had a big Moma retrospective and capped it with 4 East River "Waterfalls", that cost $15,000,000. I missed the piece, but caught the PBS stroke job on Channel 13. It was weaved in and out of a more pedestrian overview of NYC public works. But the waterwalls were the stars. And, of course, the artist. This guy denied any atachment to spectacle, but insisted it was all about embracing the negative space "between the falls...." in some way pointing out to us all that the bike path and bridge struts were the real show. I never heard such bullshit. Let me remind you- 15 million.
Now, don't get me wrong. I like public art. I even like those waterfalls. But scaffold and pumps? Where the fuck does that kind of cash go? This work is what the public wants and in the words of my brother "Do we have to kill you to make any money off your shit?" So I'm stepping into the public arena. Just so happens I have a few pieces in mind.

EL TORRO: This is a piece I've had in the works for some time. It involves building a "chopper" motorcycle and shipping it to Cuba. In the gas tank of the motorcycle will be hidden a sealed liquid nitrogen chamber that will contain multiple straws of bull semen. The semen is from bulls I have purchased with names like Cooley Jordan 8017r17 and Sonar of Brinks 607l18. Once in Cuba I would impregnate a cow and hopefully have a calf. The motorcycle would be ridden across Cuba and exhibited with the calf.

ADAM AND EVE: This involves taking two wild turkeys (a male and a female) into Central Park and releasing them, hoping that they would establish a population there.

THE MONEY CANNON: This piece would definitely require funding. I propose rigging a Blackhawk helicopter with a very real, very loud, very lethal looking door gun. But instead of firing bullets this gun would fire bursts of dollar bills. This piece could be done anywhere, but preferably where it would not be shot down before blasting the bills. It's not really about spectacle, .....rather the redistribution of wealth through proactive means.