FRIENDO ME

I don't know where I've been while friend became a verb, but not on Facebook. Like having a cell phone, or trimming my beard, I swore I'd never go there. But then, the decade changed and damned if I didn't get a new computer, purchase high speed internet, start stumbling around trying to upload all my old episodes of disposabletv AND joined Facebook. What can I say? You can't believe a word I say.

So now that I'm on Facebook it's happening. Just like MySpace, I'm wasting all kinds of time checking in with friends and friends of friends and so on.... And who do I blame? Well I blame everyone of those people who told me I HAD to join Facebook in order to be a part of the global community. I was doing just fine watching the camels and the ostriches out my window, spending day after day hunting in the woods, throwing another log on the woodstove and smoking my eye medicine. Or was I? Maybe I do need all of you. I'm conflicted.

It seems to me there is a large conspiracy afoot that wants to draw everyone into these networks. For example I had a borrowed old Mac and dial up. Yes, it was slow as hell and frustrating. But it was cheap and it did work (sometimes). Then I got my new Mac and it didn't even come with dial up. I was forced to get a satellite. Now I'm on Facebook and every few minutes two squiggly words pop up for me to type. Bothersome? They ask. Just give us your cell phone # and we'll stop. I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING CELL PHONE, ASSHOLES! Ok, maybe they got their reasons for this. But if I have to get a cell phone in order to stop this annoyance that will be the end of my Facebook career. What's next, no beards? In the meantime I have successfully uploaded disposabletv episode on vimeo.com. Hope you like it.