AMERICAN iPOLE

    Just the other day Deacon Mupp picked up 20 feet of stainless steel stripper pole, all set to be polished and installed in the church. Let the Catholics have their kiddie molester priests. Let the Presbyterians have their bland covered dish dinners. Let the Mormons have their ghost baptisms and multiple wives. And even let the Scientologists have their absurd celebs and science fiction dogma. The CLGM is the first church to install a stripper pole. If there's another one I'd like to hear about it.
   Preparations are continuing for The Xmas @ Easter Laptism American iPole Church of the Little Green Man Sunday May 29, 2011. Animals are being rounded up for the petting zoo. The elves and bunnies are busy with all their duties. But most importantly we are spreading the word regarding the American iPole Contest. Here's your chance. Can't sing? Can't dance? Can't play an instrument. No problem. Anyone can spin around a pole. Simon Cowel can't make it but we do have the panel of Deacons- Mupp, Al Blanchard and Savage Lynch. And although she can be kinda unreliable Kim Kardashian promises to fill the JLo spot. The Band of All Faiths is learning Like A Rock and some Fergie tunes. So get out that Victoria Secret catalog and pick out some appropriate duds. God bless you one and all.