TAKE A SUPERMODEL SHOOTING

 Winter finally arrived this weekend. Temps went into the single digits and an inch of snowed turned into the frozen tundra. At last i could face the beast, instead of merely anticipating it. The hawk was at the door. I treated myself to a new kerosene heater (one that actually heats without the carbon monoxide). The woodstove is packed with burning logs and I wear a light coat inside. So I'm pretty comfortable. I'm not a sports fan so I can't even pass the time with the play offs. Jints will probably let everyone down anyway. In these bleak days I usually can at least look forward to Shewho coming up on the weekends, and reminding me to wash. But I haven't seen her in 2012. She left New Years Eve and has been stuck in town for one reason or another ever sense. This leaves the usual bunch of hicksters, none of which I was in any hurry to entertain and no invites were forthcoming. Then I got a call from my favorite client supermodel Hollie Witchey.
   The Hollie Witchey Project is the only paying gig on my plate these days. Since 2007 I've done three projects- The White Sulphur Springs Project with Samm Kunce, WSSP II with Tessa Hughes Freeland and Carlo McCormick and HWP. The restoring of old houses, as art for close friends and remaining gainfully employed (and still friends) has paid off. I've known Hollie about five years and she's one of my favorite people, so when i get a call to come to dinner with the boss I perk up. Plus she said her French friend Sandi was coming for the weekend. I think I'll shower. As a good boss myself, I drug Levi along for a lovely evening of wine, cheeze and lamb chops with two beautiful blond supermodels. He didn't complain. I don't pay much, but the perks are good. As we got drunker, talk turned to guns. I guess you can blame Hollywood, but for some reason hot girls all want to shoot guns. Who was I not to grant their wish. I promised on Sunday I'd bring the guns.
   Today, after a little thrift store shopping with the girls, I packed the .22, 9 mm. and 20 ga. into the
Neon with a duffle bag of ammo and went out in back of Hollie's barn to teach the supermodels how to safely handle firearms. It was about 10 degrees. Between the wind blowing the Coors cans off the bench, the bitter cold and my guns that hadn't been clean in a while, it didn't take long for things to start misfiring and jamming. Still, the ladies hung in there and were excellent students. The light was failing and I'm sure the sights on the guns were off. As we finished up, my hands frozen, Sandi and Hollie posed holding the guns, big smiles on their beautiful faces. I went to take the perfect shot for huntingwithsupermodels and the batteries on my camera went dead. Next time.